February 2009

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The spirit of self-help is the root of all genuine growth in the individual.

-Samuel Smiles

We'll stop those druggies yet!

While looking up some things for the chemistry class I am teaching, I ran across a bit of information at Wikipedia that literally made my jaw drop.

Like many other common pieces of glassware, Erlenmeyer flasks could potentially be used in the production of illegal narcotics. In an effort to restrict such production, some U.S. states (including Texas) have begun requiring permits to purchase such glassware, including Erlenmeyer flasks, as well as chemicals identified as common starting materials.

A permit is needed to purchase an Erlenmeyer flask in Texas? I am torn between my general incredulity when encountering unsupported "information" at Wikipedia and my willingness to believe that there are no lengths to which our government will not go in the War on (some) Drugs. Special thanks to The Liberty Papers for that phrase, by the way.

Incidentally, one of the top pages to come up on a Google search for "Erlenmeyer narcotics" is "A Quantitative Method for the Isolation and Determination of Morphine in Opium and Medicinal Preparations" on the U.N. Office of Drugs and Crime website. Part of me is certain that federal, state, and local authorities are descending upon my house in ski masks as we speak, and if I survive the middle-of-the-night raid I will go to jail just for seeing this website - if that happens, please call Radley Balko immediately! But the other part of me is laughing hysterically at how perfect this site would be for my chem class.

An assay of morphine in crude opium and medicinal preparations is described, based upon chromatographic purification of the alkaloid, which is subsequently determined volumetrically.

That's exactly what we are covering right now - chromatography, purification methods, basic density and volumetrics. And the page has a write-up in the format I demand - introduction, reagents, procedure, apparatus, discussion of accuracy/precision, summary/conclusions, bibliography.

I've always said that the worst part about high school chemistry is that the really good chemistry is too dangerous to do in class. I've just never had the interest in the narcotics side of things - either for personal use or sale. But this has been a real eye-opener for me. There is only one responsible thing to do.

We must ban high school chemistry. For the children.