• The abortion non-issue
• A new kind of surge
• Congrats Cap'n!
• Game over, man!
• Regarding Education
• Trivia Question of the Day
• What Right to Privacy?
• John McCain is 72 years old! [laughter, applause]
• Bug Braaaaaaaaaains!
• Sarah Palin
• Reich's advice to Democrats
• Women's Lib
• On Barak Obama and Joe Biden
• Late Night Punchline Imbalance: the details undermine the headline
• Better questions about climate change

• September 2008
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• November 2007
• October 2007
• September 2007
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• July 2007
• June 2007
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• April 2007
• March 2007
• February 2007
• January 2007
• December 2006
• November 2006
• October 2006
• September 2006
• August 2006
• July 2006
• June 2006
• May 2006
• April 2006
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• February 2006
• January 2006
• December 2005
• November 2005
• October 2005
• September 2005
• August 2005
• July 2005
• June 2005

« Partisan Style | Main | Unintentional Hiatus »

Top Ten Headlines You Won't Read Today

10. Absolutely no one was killed or even hurt yesterday in Iraq,
Afghanistan, Israel, or anywhere else in the Middle East.

9. Beautiful 22 year old woman marries 92 year old man. Man is completely
broke and has no will.

8. Las Vegas sports books delcare that absolutely no money was bet on any
of the NFL games over the weekend.

7. Small boy falls into pool and was about to get out on his own but
family dogs grabs him and drags him back into pool, thus helping him
drown.

6. Category 5 Tornado rips through trailer park in Oklahoma and after it
has passed through left the trailers in a state of being cleaner and
having shiny new curtains.

5. Single male, age 40, wins $350 million in lottery and passes by and
ignores 6 strip clubs on his way to a local church to donate the full
amount.

4. LaGuardia Airport makes an announcement that, in order to cut down on
travel time, they are removing all airport security and people can board
planes in mere minutes without now waiting in long lines.

3. Catholic Priest takes 15 eight year old boys on a weekend camping trip
into the deep woods...and absolutely nothing happens.

2. President Bush gives a 2 hour speech of thanks after completing the
clean sweep by winning the Pulitzer Prize for economics, humanity, arts,
and sciences.

and the #1 headline you will not be reading in the news today:

1. Hey Bob, this is Pete, the newsprint guy. I know we were supposed to
run a headline about the War on Terror, but just wanted to say instead
that I am banging your wife. Payback is a bitch, isn't it?