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FEMA Unprepared to Manage Collapse of FEMA

The Senate Committee on Homeland Security has recommended that the Federal Emergency Management Administration (FEMA) be abolished, and a new federal agency with a new, shinier name be created in its place.

Gregory Kutz, managing director of special investigations for the Government Accountability Office, said he had little confidence that the Federal Emergency Management Agency would be ready by June 1 to safeguard taxpayer dollars should a another major disaster like Hurricane Katrina strike.

This proposal would be a disaster for FEMA Acting FEMA Director R. David Paulison admits that the agency is not adequately prepared to deal with its own demise. “There simply is no response plan for a disaster of this magnitude to hit the agency itself. This would be a Category 5 Dismantling of the Agency, a direct hit.”

Paulison has asked President Bush to declare the agency a disaster in order to speed aid to the agency. Trucks of bottled water are being dispatched to regional FEMA headquarters, and governors are being asked to call out the state militias to provide support to FEMA facilities as their management threatens to collapse. Early reports indicate that the Army Corps of Engineers had predicted that FEMA might encounter a topping of congressional support, but the imminent total breach is unexpected.

Said President Bush, “I don't think anybody anticipates the breach of congressional support for FEMA.”

Meanwhile, Louisiana Governor Blanco is questioning the wisdom of rebuilding a federal agency in a field so likely to experience similar flooding of criticism in the future. Blanco:

FEMA is injured. It´s going to take more than surgery and a cast to mend it. To restore the nation´s confidence in times of crisis, the call for help must be answered and it must be answered quickly. I´m pleased that Congress and the White House are tackling this issue.
It´s no secret that I´ve long believed the Stafford Act is inadequate to deal with natural and manmade disasters of the magnitude that hit Louisiana last year. I urge Congress to consider the entirety of the nation´s ability to respond quickly and adequately to catastrophic events like Katrina. Until then, any emergency agency will fail to meet the needs of protecting the people.

But some FEMA residents want to stay and rebuild, no matter what the danger.

“This agency is my home, it is my life,” said a tearful employee who was also a noble member of an oppressed racial minority. “What am I supposed to do? I won’t leave.”

FEMA is planning to issue $2000 debit cards to all FEMA employees, and anybody who claims to be a FEMA employee, possibly excluding blacks.