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The errors of definitions multiply themselves according as the reckoning proceeds; and lead men into absurdities, which at last they see but cannot avoid, without reckoning anew from the beginning.

-Thomas Hobbes

Claude Allen Innocent, Evil Twin Guilty?

I could not believe what I was hearing on NPR this afternoon.

Michael Fletcher of the Washington Post was talking with Michele Norris about the former Bush domestic policy advisor Claude Allen, shown above with his evil twin. Mr. Allen made news when he was arrested last week for refund fraud. The story did not strike me as very interesting - it's a pretty easy crime to commit, but it's pretty stupid, and this was over a matter of about $5,000. President Bush - loyal to a fault - didn't exactly come out with any support - "If the allegations are true, something went wrong in Claude Allen's life, and that is really sad. When I heard the story last night I was shocked, and my first reaction was one of disappointment, deep disappointment." That sounds to me like Mr. Bush knows Mr. Allen is guilty.

The biggest part of this story seemed to be that Allen is a black Republican - or maybe the story could serve as "yet another example" for people who see this administration as one of the more corrupt and evil in all of history.

But the story may have taken a turn for the bizzare:

Michele Norris: And we should note something, Michael. Apparently Claude Allen has a twin brother?

Michael Fletcher: Yes, he does. He has an identical twin brother who even close friends can't tell them apart when they see them... And close friends say that Mr. Allen has indicated to them that maybe his brother holds the key to this entire puzzling affair.

(Listen to their conversation here.)

An evil twin? What? I would love to see this have legs. Admit it, you would, too. You can't make that kind of stuff up!

Incidentally, Trey Ellis at Huffington Post feels that Mr. Allen's small time criminality is rooted in a deep self-loathing for going around acting white all of the time, as black Republicans are wont to do. Claude Allen stole in an attempt to act black, says Mr. Ellis, which gives Mr. Ellis an opportunity to explain to Mr. Allen that "blackness isn't crime".

I'm really glad Mr. Ellis spelled out that pretzel logic for of us - otherwise, this might just be a story about $5,000 worth of refund fraud by a guy who hangs out with the president of the United States (hopefully because his evil brother set him up - man that would be a great story). I never would have realized that Mr. Allen is a self-loathing black, otherwise.

The only possible explanation for a crime by a black Republican would be self-loathing and internal racial conflict.

Black Republicans should probably be watched carefully when they enter Target, right Mr. Ellis? It was bad enough to see Condeleeza Rice shopping for her Ferragamo shoes during Hurricane Katrina (when she should have been flying rescue missions). But thinking back, she was probably stealing those shoes, let's be honest. You know black Republicans.

Posted by Wulf on March 13, 2006 at 08:16 PM

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And he would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those meddling kids!

Posted by: R* at March 14, 2006 12:39 AM

Even weirder, another Claude and Floyd Allen were likely framed for murder in 1912. There are also more photos of Claude and Floyd online.

Posted by: Stuart Gathman at March 16, 2006 10:52 PM

The errors of definitions multiply themselves according as the reckoning proceeds; and lead men into absurdities, which at last they see but cannot avoid, without reckoning anew from the beginning.

-Thomas Hobbes

Claude Allen Innocent, Evil Twin Guilty?

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