The errors of definitions multiply themselves according as the reckoning proceeds; and lead men into absurdities, which at last they see but cannot avoid, without reckoning anew from the beginning.

Kaiser gushes:

Finns have one of the world's most generous systems of state-funded educational, medical and welfare services, from pregnancy to the end of life. They pay nothing for education at any level, including medical school or law school. Their medical care, which contributes to an infant mortality rate that is half of ours and a life expectancy greater than ours, costs relatively little. (Finns devote 7 percent of gross domestic product to health care; we spend 15 percent.) Finnish senior citizens are well cared for. Unemployment benefits are good and last, in one form or another, indefinitely.

This sounds too good to be true. Has utopia been found in the city by the sea?

Unfortunately, the brief euphoria is lost when Kaiser coughs through this sentence: "They spend relatively little on national defense." So maybe the U.S. can enjoy the same degree of welfare when Finland decides to pick up arms and defend the Western world?

Kaiser almost redeems himself with this insight:

Nor do they tune in to American individualism. Groupthink seems to be fine with most Finns; conformity is the norm, risk-taking is avoided -- a problem now, when entrepreneurs are so needed.

And then he wraps up with:

The complicated Finnish language includes the word talkoot, which means, roughly, "doing work together." It's a powerful Finnish tradition, and reflects a national sense that "we're all in the same boat," as numerous Finns said to me. This idea has always appealed to Americans, but in this country it has nearly always been an abstraction.

In exactly which Bizarro world has this idea ever appealed to Americans? And speaking of Bizarro world, when has a state-sponsored tourism website ever had the need to include this factoid:

Long-term personal problems; illness, mental disorder, alcoholism, drug abuse, social exclusion and difficult living conditions may dampen a person's enthusiasm for life. Most suicides in Finland are carried out by people who have used mental health services but without success. Alcohol abusers commit more than half of the annual suicides. In addition, low serotonin levels due to the shortage of natural light during the dark season and other neurotransmitter disorders in the brain have been suggested as key factors underlying Finland's suicide rate, the second highest in Europe.

No thank you, Mr. Kaiser. I will keep the entrepreneurialism and individualism. You can take your collectivism and groupthink and go to Helsinki. But don't forget your serotonin shots.

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